Jesus, a magic eraser and the toaster…

We have a chrome toaster.  Very pretty when we got it, so shiny!  I love shiny!  The thing is though, as it’s been used, it’s gotten not so shiny.  In fact, I discovered today that it has gotten just downright gross.  The chrome was coated in that greasy residue that somehow collects on things in the kitchen.  It’s filled with crumbs and gunk.  Just nasty.  I started to clean it first with a sponge, and that didn’t work very well.  I was all ready to just chunk it in the garbage, how on earth can something so nasty ever be clean again?  It’s been a good toaster, but maybe it’s time to move on, perhaps it’s just too dirty.  I decided to try a magic eraser as a last ditch effort to clean the toaster.  WOW!  I knew those things were good, but man!  The grease just came right off.  Didn’t take hardly any elbow grease.  I was amazed!  It’s like new!  So shiny again!  

As I was wiping the toaster dry, it hit me, that’s what Jesus does for us!  He wipes us clean!  He is like the ultimate magic eraser!  Then, something else hit me, I’m like this toaster!  Dirty, worn out, seemingly past it’s usefulness, then, along comes Christ!  I opened my heart to Him, and BAM!  He wiped all the gunk and dirt away!  That’s what He does for us!  He cleans us, making us good as new!  But, not really.  He does even more than that!  While the magic eraser cleaned the outside of the toaster great, I can’t get the inside with it.  It’s still full of crumbs.  Jesus even gets the insides of us clean!  He comes in and washes us pure, really, makes us better than we ever were, because He took our dirt and grime and grease and gunk on Himself at Calvary!  While the magic eraser is a great tool, it’s nothing compared to Jesus!  The toaster will get dirty again, and I’ll have to attack it with yet another magic eraser.  Jesus washes us clean once and for all times!  Our salvation through Him at the cross is complete.  We don’t have to go back to Him over and over for the same thing, it’s done.  When He said, “It is finished” He meant it.  It is finished, clean, never to be undone.  Once we make that transaction, accepting what He did for us, we are clean, in a way that is unimaginable!  What we must do is accept that.  The toaster doesn’t have a brain, it doesn’t know that it was once dirty.  We do.  We remember our failures, our dirt, our grime and grease.  He cleans us, wipes us shiny again, so to speak, outside and in, but we have to accept it.  The toaster does not have to accept it’s cleanliness or dirtiness, it just is.  We on the other hand, being capable of intelligent thought, sometimes anyway, remember it all.  We have to accept His washing away of our sludge and dirt.  Once we fully accept that, we can shine!

One last note, I noticed these markings on the side of the toaster as I was wiping it dry…

The ICTHUS on the side of the toaster...

What an amazing God we serve that He would use a toaster and a magic eraser to reinforce His amazing love for us!

Not sure…

Why, my soul, are you downcast?  Why so disturbed within me?  Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior & my God. Psalm 42:5

Not sure what to write about tonight.  I could pick any one of several topics, and have even had a couple suggested to me, but I just can’t get my head around that right now.  I’m getting that panicky antsy feeling again.  The new medication is helping, but it’s not cutting all the irritability.  I just want to go to bed and sleep.  I haven’t felt this way all day, it’s snuck up on me really quickly tonight. 

I was ok earlier, I’ve been unmounting stamps all day, and have gotten quite a few done, 26 sets unmounted and stored.  Who knows how many more to go!  I’ve discovered that the easiest way to get the rubber off the foam is to put them in the freezer for about 20 minutes.  I read that in a post on Splitcoast Stampers, but I don’t remember the poster.  If it was you, thank you thank you thank you!  It has been so much easier than trying to microwave them!  Here is a quick picture of what my new storage system will be…

Unmounted storage basket - 26 sets in there!

All of a sudden though, I just started feeling really blah.  That’s the only way I know how to describe it, just blah.  Then irritability set in.  Once I realized what was happening, I had a mini panic attack.  Took an anxiety pill and I’m ok now, just feel tired.  Part of that is probably from the medication, the other part is probably because I’ve been up all day, and I mean since like 6:00 am.  I guess I’m just so worried about the possibility of a recurrence of what happened last month that it’s making me more anxious. 

B got a guitar today.  We are borrowing an acoustic from Donovan’s little sister for him to learn on for a bit, and once he’s had some lessons and is doing good, we are going to move to an electric.  Starting with baby steps though.  He’s over the moon excited about having one.  He had lessons a couple of years ago and didn’t last very long.  He says this time is different though because he wants to take the lessons, last time he just wanted to make someone else happy.  We shall see how long it lasts this time.

Bible study is tomorrow.  That will be so good.  I love the group of women that the Lord has put in my life.  They have been such a lifeline for me the past few months, it’s unreal.  I so look forward to each time we meet.  We are studying the Gospel of John this time, an inductive study, and I’m so looking forward to it.  I love getting into the Word, each time I read something I get a new message from God about what He is trying to tell me and teach me.  God’s Word is so alive.  I love doing topical studies, don’t get me wrong, but as someone once said to me, there is nothing like getting into the Word itself, not depending on what a teacher has written about and what they got from the Word, but totally depending on the Holy Spirit to move you and reveal God’s purpose for that verse at that particular time in your life.

I posted a verse at the top, which totally explains how I am feeling right now.  Downcast and worried.  I know though that I need to put my hope in God, for He is the One who can make it all better.  Praises to You Father for that!

in Him,

Trish

How much is too much?

How do you know when you have enough of something, or too much of it?  Is there a simple line to draw and say, “OK, I have enough now, thank you very much!”, or do we simply keep on collecting things until we eventually run out of room?  I have a love affair with “stampin’ stuff”.  I believe I might be addicted to having more stuff.  I think I have lots of addictions though, food, soda, stampin’ stuff, and many more I’m sure.  Does that make me an addictive personality?  I don’t know.  I do know that addiction runs through both sides of my family.  I’ve always stayed clear of alcohol and drugs, knowing the addictive type of personality that runs in my family.  Food though, is another story, you’ve got to eat, right?  It’s hard to say that you are addicted to food, but I think it’s one of the hardest things to be addicted to.  It’s not like you can just say I’ll never eat again, you HAVE to eat.  Of course, you don’t have to eat chocolate, or ice cream, or fast food, or drink soda.  You can choose to eat healthier things, drink water, enjoy fresh fruit and veggies, make wise decisions as it were.  That is what I’m trying to do.  I’m trying to make wise decisions, for my health, for my children’s health, and for our future.  I want to be here with my husband for a long time, and I need to get myself in check if I am going to do that.  So, to that end, I got up this morning, and got on the elliptical machine.  I didn’t last very long, but it’s all in baby steps, right?  I ate my special k cinnamon pecan, awesome cereal, for breakfast, and had a grilled chicken salad for lunch.  This afternoon B and I made a fruit salad.  Oranges, apples, grapes and strawberries.  We left the bananas out this time.  A & B had pineapple and fresh cherries in theirs too.  Wise choices, that’s what I can do.  The rest, it’s up to God, and I know He won’t let me down, if I do my part, He will do the rest.

This post started out about stuff, then kind of went off on a tangent, sorry about that.  Back to my original thought, how much stuff is too much stuff?  How do you know when you have enough?  When do you just decide that enough is enough and be happy with the things God has blessed you with?  I’m struggling with that right now.  I have so much paper-crafting *stuff*.  I have tons of stamp sets, ink pads, markers, ribbons galore, paints, glittery stuff, brads, eyelets, rhinestones, scissors,   powders,  you name it and I’ve probably got it.  I could start my own store!  But the thing that’s bugging me is that I still want more.  I feel at times like Veruca Salt from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory!  I’m impatient, I want new toys to play with, when I don’t play nearly enough with the toys I have.  Another thing I have a ton of is books, I have read every book I have, well, not counting the Bible studies I haven’t done yet or all the translations I have of the Bible, haven’t read through all those yet.  I plan to one day, but I digress, again… When does a person simply say enough is enough and let go of that incessant need to have more things.  I so want to be there, I desire so deep within my heart and soul to just let go of my stuff and just be, just enjoy who God made me to be.  I’ve become so wrapped up in having this stuff, that I think it’s detracting from who I am.  I am becoming defined by my stuff, and I don’t want that.  So, to that end, I am on a budget for one, which I’ve never really had before when it came to those things.  I get a certain amount of money each pay period that I can use however I choose.  Secondly, I’m really becoming much more discriminating on what I buy.  I dont’ just rush out and buy the newest toy or newest Bible just because it’s new and I want it.  I am praying about what is the right thing to do.  How can I use this to further the Kingdom of God, how will this help me to grow in Christ.  If I can’t find answers that satisfy those questions, then I really don’t need it. 

I don’t know what is harder, eating healthier or trying to be more stuff healthy.  Either way, only through the Grace of God can I accomplish any of them…

in Him,

Trish

Quick Note…

I’m still getting settled here into wordpress, and getting my links together for my blogroll and craft links. If you would like to be listed, just leave me a comment or shoot me an e-mail (bloglink@freetodance.com) and I’ll be happy to list you…
in Him,
Tricia

Wow…

It’s been a crazy couple of weeks for me.  As you might know, April 24th was the one year anniversary of my mom going home to be with the Lord.  It was a hard week.  The week after that, I had a couple of anxiety type attacks, not good.  As I think I’ve mentioned before, I struggle with clinical depression and post traumatic stress disorder as well as generalized anxiety disorder.  I got in to see my family doc pretty quickly, but since he does not provide my primary psychiatric care he was a little hesitant to make any major changes.  He put me back on Abilify and gave me Ativan for the anxiety.  I see the psychiatrist on the 14th, so that is good.  I had another episode last night, my poor husband has the patience of a saint.  He loves me so very much and is just always there to hold me and support me, pray over me and just care for me.  God truly blessed me.  The good news is that I’ve not needed to go to the hospital, which was a big fear for me as the anxiety began to take over.  Don’t get me wrong, psychiatric hospitals aren’t horrible prison like places by any means, but the idea of being away from my family for a week or more again just doesn’t sound like my ideal vacation, unless of course it included a field trip to DisneyLand or DisneyWorld, then I’m all over it!  ;o)

Anyway, I didn’t mean to ramble on so much about that!  I have lots more exciting and fun news to share!  First off, as you might have noticed I’ve moved my blog from blogger to wordpress.  There were some issues with my e-mail address when I tried to have my blogger address point to just freetodance.com so after some research I decided to move over here.  If you aren’t familiar with my story, or just need a refresher you can visit www.iamfreetodance.blogspot.com and read my archives.  I hope to eventually move them over here, but there are some technical issues with blogger and importing to wordpress, so for now it will stay there.  Hopefully the wordpress tech folks or blogger tech folks will figure it out soon and I’ll be able to delete the blogspot blog.  Anyway…

Other news, I’m going to be getting rid of my Stampin’ Princess blog too, and just go to one blog that will cover all aspects of me and my life.  In other stampin’ news, I’m also no longer going to be a Stampin’ Up!(c) Demonstrator.  I’m sad about that, but since our move I just haven’t had any luck in finding customers.  There are also a lot of other things going on that I just don’t have time to get out and try to find customers.  I’ve also started to expand my horizons as far as crafting goes.  I’ve discovered some great stamp companies that have awesome stamps that are nothing like what Stampin’ Up!(c) carries, and I like them.  I’m also branching out with what types of supplies I use, copic markers, stickles, stencils, glimmer mist, shimmerz, all kinds of wonderful products that SU! just doesn’t carry.  I will probably always use SU! ink and paper, the quality is just awesome and I love that the colors all match so perfectly, but there are other companies out there that I want to play with too.  I guess I’m just outgrowing Stampin’ Up!(c) and while that makes me a little sad, I’m also so excited about this whole world of papercrafting I’ve discovered is out there!

Summer semester starts on the 11th of May.  My first class will be Humanities, followed by Christian Counseling starting in June.  I’ve been thinking of changing my major from Psychology / Christian Counseling to Religion/Christian Counseling, but I haven’t had time to call the school and talk to a counselor about that yet.  In case you didn’t know I am a Distance Learning student at Liberty University based in Lynchburg, Virginia.  I transferred there because it is a Christian school, and because of the Christian Counseling programs they offer.  Since my end goal is to work with women in counseling situations and hopefully womens ministry it seemed a better fit.

One last thing before I go for now, could you please be in prayer for a few things for me?  One is my anxiety/depression/ptsd.  As I mentioned above, it is getting bad again, and I need the Lords covering and hands upon me for that more than ever.  Secondly is my brother.  He had surgery a while back to remove some melanomas, but they have come back, and this time have spread and he is at stage four.  I’m not sure of his relationship with God, so I would appreciate both prayers for his healing and for his relationship with God, along with courage for me to talk to him about this.  Thirdly, and I apologize for not being very specific, but I have another possible health issue, and would appreciate your prayers for that as well.  I don’t want to be too specific until I know more.  It’s kind of weird, there *could* be an issue, but it *could* just be nothing.  I have tests scheduled for June 3rd and hopefully will know more after that and will give you all an update then.  Thanks for reading this far, and for your prayers!

in Him – Trish

Missing…

I’ve been wanting to post for a while now. Just haven’t made the time, but I put it out on Facebook and MySpace that I would be posting today, so I felt like I needed to do that. I don’t know what to say though, my words are a jumbled mess right now. All I can think about is where I was a year ago today, and how much I miss my Momma.

The year has flown by, things have settled down, it doesn’t seem like a year has gone by, but it has. 365 days that I haven’t spoken with her. 12 months that I haven’t been able to hug her, or more importantly, to be hugged by her. There is something about a Mother’s love that cannot be described. I feel it with my own children, I hope they feel it from me. It’s in the knowing, the knowing that she was there for me, no matter what. She was safe, I could always call or go to her, and she would put her arms around me, and for those seconds, all was right in the world. What I wouldn’t give to be able to rest my head on her lap again and have her stroke my hair, telling me that she loved me, without even opening her mouth. I miss her so much. I just pray that I show my children each and every day how much I love them, like she did with me. I know my Mother wasn’t perfect, no one is, but she was as close to perfect as a human could ever come in my eyes, she loved me with everything in her, all my life, and I am so grateful to God for giving her to me for the first 35 years of my life.

I had more time with my Momma than she had with hers. My Grandma died before I was born, I believe my Momma was about 26 or so when she lost her Mother. I know how hard it was for her, but she kept on going, for my sister, and for me. She loved all of us with a true love, all of her kids. Jimmy, Clyde, Danny, Sheryl, Ricky, Shannon, Pam and me. I miss her so much. I always will, but I will also always be so grateful for the time I had, and for knowing how much she loved me, and what a life she had. It wasn’t always happy and wonderful, but she lived it to the fullest, and made a difference in people. People loved her, because she loved them.

There are so many specific memories I have, it’s always been interesting to me the way some things stick in our head, and we remember them like they were yesterday, and then other things remain more as an impression, a feeling or a sound or a smell. I remember being at the store with her, and I could always find her when she coughed, I knew that sound even as a small child, and could distinguish her in a crowd of people by it. Her laughter, her smile, they radiated love. I can also remember that look she would get when I did something not quite right, lol. I remember the feeling of her hugging me, and of her stroking my hair. I remember specific situations, the exact way it felt to think I had disappointed her, or upset her, and the relief that came with the knowing that she still loved me just as much. No, my Momma wasn’t perfect, but she was mine. I miss her every day, and this day is especially hard. But I rest in Jesus’ arms, knowing that she is with Him, and she is no longer sick, she can dance as she loved to, and she is in Heaven, waiting until one day I will see her again.

Hug your children, hug your parents, let them all know how very much they are loved.

The neatest thing….

My friend Accidental Poet has a nest of baby robins on her back deck. They have set up the neatest thing, they put a webcam out there, and she’s been blogging about it! It has a LOT of awesome pictures/videos, go check it out if you get a chance…

And Then There Were Robins

Aaack, I’ve been tagged…

Here’s how you play: Once you’ve been tagged you have to write a blog with ten weird or random facts, habits or goals about yourself. At the end, choose some people to be tagged, list their names and why you tagged them. Don’t forget to leave them a comment saying (You’re It!) and to go read your blog. You cannot tag the person who tagged you. So since you can’t tag me back let me know when you are done so that I can go read YOUR blog answers

1. I was just playing Lego Star Wars
2. Went to Cracker Barrel for lunch today, yummers!
3. I’m snacking on rice cakes right now!
4. Donovan proposed to me on April 17th, 2004
5. I just broke a nail!
6. I have been known to chew a whole pack of gum in less than an hour
7. I pick my cuticles and need to stop
8. I want to put pink streaks back in my hair
9. I don’t get the movie “No Country for Old Men”
10. I love having my feet rubbed!!!

1. Brandi – cuz she’ll list silly fun things
2. Dawn – cuz she’s my stampin’ daughter
3. Cindy – so she’ll do something on myspace!

Dentist…

I’m sitting here, in the waiting room at the dentist. B had an appt for fillings. A had to come with us because Donovan isn’t home yet. So here I sit, perusing the web, reading some of my favorite blogs, and watching A play Pirates of the Caribbean on PS2. I love technology!

How’s your week going?

How do you pick a title?

How do you seasoned bloggers pick titles for your posts anyway? I never know what to pick. Now, on my stamping blog, it’s easy. I choose a title that reflects the project or event that I’m posting about. Over here, I’m never sure what to put. Anyway, on to my ramble for today…

My counselor last week gave me an assignment. Of course, it can’t be something simple like, “Ok Tricia, go home and solve Pi”. No, she has to give me something hard. I’m supposed to look at myself in the mirror, and starting with my feet, go up my body and say aloud to myself what I am thankful for that particular body part for. Hmmphf. Right. I can’t stand to look at myself, let alone name the parts of my body and what is good about them. I start with my toes, and I see them as to short & stubby. They have been referred to as “corn-nut toes”. Yet, they do help me balance, and they do look quite pretty painted this lovely shade, “Holy Pink Pagoda” by OPI. My feet, well, they are a bit wide, yet, they do somehow manage to carry me around. My ankles, well, they haven’t given out on me yet, they do help my feet connect to my legs. My legs, hmmm, well, I do have large calves, always have, yet, even though they are large, they do have good muscle in there. They have served me well for 34 years. My thighs, same thing, they do rub together some when I walk, yet, they get me where I need to go. My stomach, it’s big, it’s got stretch marks, and yet, those things are from carrying three children, what a wonderful gift from God. Traveling up, I am a bit large, and they are uncomfortable, yet, they nourished all three of my children for a while. How much more can you ask? My shoulders are to wide imo. I’ve always thought I had somewhat manly shoulders, but they have held up so much, at times it has felt like the weight of the world has been on them. Yet, their width has allowed them to bear up under so much, and hold it all up with what I hope has been grace for the most part. As for my face, well, let’s not go there. My eyes are a lovely shade of green imo. My nose is thankfully not to large, and my mouth, well, hee hee, it speaks the truth, and it allows me to express my love to my family and friends. My hair is a lovely shade of red right now thanks to my husband, but besides the color, I do have soft healthy hair. My brain, well, if I am honest, I am fairly intelligent. I love to learn new things and read. All in all, I guess I can be thankful for a lot. But to stand in front of the mirror and look at myself as I go through this list? Well, baby steps, right?