Busy busy busy…

Wow! It’s crazy around here, and yet, I still find myself getting bored during the day. Hopefully that will end now that my stampin’ slump is over, or appears to be for now anyway. Don’t know what I mean? Head over to www.stampinprincess.com and see then!

Now that I’ve shamelessly promoted my other blog, let me get back to the task at hand. Updating you on how life is going! My birthday just passed a week ago, I am officially halfway to 70 now! lol I had a wonderful simple day that I loved! Donovan had to go in to work and D had stayed with a friend Friday night, so on my birthday (Saturday the 13th), A, B & I (isn’t that silly) went to breakfast! Then we ran a couple of simple errands, and I spent the rest of the day just relaxing! Donovan & A made me a heavenly cookies & cream birthday cake. It was so sweet to see the two of them working in the kitchen together! Then Donovan & B made dinner, yummy! Seafood Alfredo, and they did such a great job! D did the dishes, so I really did have the whole day off! Gotta love it! I got some great new stampin’ stuff, which you can see over at my other blog… leave a comment too if you want! Ok, I’ll stop with the commercials! lol

What else has been going on? Not a lot really. I’m settling into a routine with school. Oh, didn’t you know? I’m finally going to school, yay! My hope is that when I’m done, probably around the time A is done, I will be able to help other women who have gone through what I went through with my first marriage. Check posts from last October and coming up this October for more info on that!

We’re all settling in, B has met both his Psychiatrist and Psychologist, and likes both. Donovan & I are very pleased with both of them as well. I’ve met with my therapist several times, she is awesome I must say! I still miss Marnie & Christy though! No offense Bobbi! tee hee! Anyway, she has given me homework a couple of times, tough stuff too I must say! Well, tough for me anyway. It’s making a difference though, and that’s what counts.

Next month is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. I’m going to try to pick up where I was blogging last year, and see if I can give more information and hopefully understanding to those who don’t have a clear picture of what domestic violence is. I want my experiences to make a difference for someone else, please let me know if it does, or if you have specific questions for me, I’ll try to answer them as honestly and candidly as I can. Hope you’re having a great September!

Love,
Trish

psychologist…

So, we met with B’s new psychologist last week, no, the week before. Anyway, we met with him. He is awesome! I just hope B likes him too! When we mentioned the confusioin of the diagnosis, mood disorder vs bipolar, he said that it’s the same, which is what I had thought, but that many doctors still are of the opinion that bipolar disorder does not exist in children, so they wont’ use that diagnosis. Anyway, I think this Psychologist is going to be a good fit for B. )

So far school is going well for him. He’s had a couple of reports assigned now, and he’s not too crazy about that, but he’s working on it. He is doing really well in band too, much better than his mother did when she took band in 6th grade. ;o) He’s switched from the trumpet to the saxophone, and he really seems to be enjoying it. There are a couple of boys that he has made friends with, which is always hard for him, so we’re especially pleased with that. Fishing is his latest passion though. We have a catch & release pond in our community, and B would be up there every evening if he could. He fished the other night by himself for like an hour and a half, while we swam. The pool is right there near the pond thankfully. Last night Donovan took just him and he caught a good sized catfish apparently. Lost his hook though, but the fish had another hook stuck in it’s lip, so someone else had lost theirs as well. He caught some kind of fish last week that had teeth, he thinks it is a Pacu, which is related to the piranha. It amazes us how he cannot sit still for anything, but put a fishing pole in his hand and he’s good for hours it seems. ) It’s good that he’s found something he can enjoy so much!

Wow…

I’ve so been meaning to get on here and blog about our trip and everything, and just haven’t had time. I finally am making time though. )

We left San Antonio on the 2nd. Poor D woke up that morning sick. He was running a low grade fever and couldn’t hold anything down. He was like that the whole trip. I felt so bad for him. Every time he tried to eat he lost it right back up. He’d start to feel better, then kablam! The first day we made it to El Paso. Our room was really nice, although a bit cramped for all of us, but it worked and that’s what counts. The hotel had waffles for breakfast, so we all had waffles, or cereal, and then hit the road. We stopped somewhere on I-10 at “The Thing” to see what “The Thing” was. I stayed outside with D and the dog while Donovan took B & A inside. It was some sort of monkey thing from what I gather. Donovan bought me a cowboy hat while they were inside. While we were waiting there was a major accident on I-10 right in front of the exit. It was going the opposite direction, but there was a news helicopter and everything. A & I were amazed at the beauty of the desert. The rock formations we passed were just awe inspiring. When we got into the Phoenix area, A was amazed by how the freeways are “decorated” with flowers and stuff. She said at one point that she didn’t think she would like it, but that maybe she would. ;o) We got to our hotel Sunday evening about 5:00, I think. Donovan went and found an in-n-out burger for me, so we got to have our first meal here in Arizona. I think it was a hit with everyone! I took A & B swimming after dinner for a little while.

Monday morning, Donovan got up, went and got the keys to the house, and we set off. When we got here, we were all so excited! The house is everything we could have wanted it to be, and we couldn’t have found a more perfect house if we had come out here and looked in person. Awesome! That afternoon, I took A with me, and we went to register for school. I forgot something at the house, of course, but my wonderful husband brought it to me, on his way to Lowe’s. The first thing he did was buy a grill! We had steak for dinner that night. It was pretty yummy! The kids started school the next day! Here is a pic of A & D on the first day… B didn’t want his picture taken…

B had a pretty rough morning the first day. He didn’t want to stay, at all. We met with the school psychologist, and with the counselor, who really took B under her wing. He did good and continues to do so. He got to switch to band, and he’s really been excited about that. He started out the first week on the trumpet, but switched to saxophone now. A brought home a note about beginning orchestra, that meets before school, and she is really interested in that. However, she brought home a note yesterday about dance and cheer that is after school, so she is really torn now trying to decide which she wants to do more. D had basketball tryouts yesterday, well, there were supposed to be tryouts yesterday, but they had to postpone them until next Monday.

We’ve been going to the pond/park in our subdivision regularly. B is loving to fish. It amazes me, he can’t sit still for 5 minutes doing anything else, but he’ll sit there fishing for hours at a time if we’d let him. Everyone has a bike except for me, and I’ve been convinced to get one. We’ll see how that goes. But Donovan & the kids have been bike riding some nights, when we don’t go to the park. We went up to go swimming last night after dinner, but the pool was closed for maintenance. Hopefully we’ll have better luck tonight.

The house is close to being unpacked. My office is unpacked, it’s just cluttered on my desk with all the little things I have to find a home for. The kitchen was the first thing done, it looks great. My books are all unpacked also, they just need to be a little better organized imo. You know me, gotta make it just right. )

I registered to volunteer for the Women of Faith conference that is going to be here in November. I can’t wait! I’m so excited to go, but even more excited to work and hopefully help other women to enjoy the conference. ) Dawn and Marsha are supposed to be coming down to go with me, I’m hoping they can convince Cindy, Karen and Brandi to come along as well! It’ll be so good to see them again! I miss them so much!

It’s nice here, but I haven’t really had a chance to get out and meet anyone yet, so it’s kind of lonely. Hopefully we’ll make it to Church this weekend, that will help I think. I’m also looking into getting back to work with Alpine Access. If I do, that will alleviate some of the boredom, it just makes me nervous, kwim? Anyway, I hope all of you are doing well, leave me a comment and let me know you read this, ok?

Finally…

I’m finally making time to sit down, write a blog post, catch up on e-mail and try to be *normal* for a few minutes. Donovan & B are outside mowing the lawn, so it’s relatively quiet in here for a little bit. I could lay down and nap really, but I shouldn’t. Sleeping during the day is not helpful when one cannot sleep at night.

So B has been home for a week. It’s been a very up and down and all around week. It has been a good week for the most part. Sunday night was rough. There were issues with the shower, then with getting to bed. He finally fell asleep though thankfully. This week has been good, yesterday during school was an issue, he did not like one of his assignments, which led to it being torn up. He then drew a picture of him beating us up because he was angry. He didn’t want me to see it, but I told him I needed to. He asked if I was mad, and I assured him I was not mad at him, just worried. Once he calmed down, he asked for another worksheet, and completed it no problems. He didn’t want to do his math either, but eventually did that as well.

We saw the psychiatrist yesterday. No med changes at this point, but she did send us to the lab first thing this morning to have his levels checked. We go back to see her in 2 weeks (on April 9th), unless something happens and we need in sooner. She talked to him a lot about changes and him working on his behavior. He was of the mindset that he doesn’t want to work. He knows he has bipolar, and that’s all he needs to know. She voiced the concern that possibly he came home from the hospital too soon. He didn’t like that idea at all. She explained to him that if he isn’t going to do his part to try to get better, that he can go back, possibly a partial program, where he is there during the day for school and such, then home at night. The other possibility would be the residential program, where basically he would live there. He said he definitely did not want to go back, and would do his best. We told him that is all we can ask, is that he try too. Definitely a relief that he seems to understand his part in treatment and therapy.

The other thing that came out of the psychiatry appointment yesterday is an appointment with a Psychologist for Neuro-Psych testing, Praise God! We have an appointment on the 3rd of April for the consultation. She will discuss the diagnosis, visit with us and B, then determine exactly what tests she will run. Then we will actually set the appointment for the testing. She does testing on Friday mornings, so I’m hoping it won’t be too long of a wait until he gets the testing done, because there will be about 2 weeks for the test results to come back. Then we will go back to learn about the results, and what we can do to deal with that. If you are reading this, and have any suggestions about tests, please let me know!

Today we saw the counselor. We had a good session as a family, then Donovan & I went out in the waiting room while B had individual counseling. He’s really amped today. Lots of energy and excitement. When we were talking to the counselor, he couldn’t sit still. Kept getting toys off the shelf, or bouncing a ball around the room. It was like he was one of those wind up toys, he just kept going on and on and on. He’s outside working off some energy right now though.

Everything else is going ok. It’s an adjustment for all of us. We’ve discussed the disorder with A & D. They don’t really understand fully though what it means, and I think it’s going to be harder on them than any of us realized. While Donovan & I are having to adjust our parenting style to suit B’s needs, D & A don’t understand. They have both voiced the opinion that we are treating B differently than them, and they feel insecure. Again, one of those things that just take adjustment and time to get used to. We just keep having to reassure them that we love all 3 of them the same, but that B has needs that are different from theirs, and we all have to work together to help him. It’s a long road ahead of us.

God will lead us through I know, and we’ll all come out stronger in the end….

Ramblings

Things are so busy around here right now! The kids are settling into a routine thank goodness!

We haven’t had any major issues at school, the only problem thus far has been lack of self control when it’s not time to talk on B’s part. I’m so thankful for that!

I took D to school this morning instead of him riding the bus. There was a Student Council meeting this morning, and he’s decided that he wants to be involved in Student Council. I was so proud watching him walk into the school this morning. You see, when I was his age, I would never have had the nerve to go to a meeting like that unless I knew that some of my friends were going, and even then I don’t know if I would have actually gone or not. I was so biting my lip this morning so that I wouldn’t push my own fears and insecurities off onto him. It’s so amazing to me that all three of them are so secure. I hope that means I’m doing something right!

Yesterday was a bad day for me. September has been a hard month for me the past few years. I don’t know why yet, but I’m working on that. Yesterday I had a semi-panic attack. The first I’ve had in a LONG time. It was so scary. I so don’t want to be back where I was before. It’ s so easy for me to hear all the negative self talk, and run with it. I’m constantly battling that. I have to remind myself continuously that I am a child of the King, and that He loves me, and made me who I am, for His glory. I was listening to the new Casting Crowns CD this morning after I dropped D off. At first, I wasn’t really fond of it. But the more I listen, the more I hear God talking to me through these songs. He did the same thing with their last CD Lifesong, but The Altar and The Door is so where I am now. I hear the lyrics to the title song, and to the song Somewhere In The Middle, and that is exactly what I am feeling. I KNOW that I need to fall into God, but somewhere in the middle of that knowledge, I am afraid to lose control. For a long time I had very little control of anything in my life. Now that I’m in a completely different situation, it’s hard for me to let go, and let God take over. I want to, which is I think, the first step. Now I need to take that second step and let Him have it. Trust that He truly does know what is best, and that He will care for me.

I remember when Christina first started talking to me about her relationship with Christ. I was so amazed by her faith. I realized that what I’ve always been looking for, that unconditional, sacrificial love was right there for me. That what I’ve searched for was Christ, I just didn’t know it. I remember that feeling of surrender. Somewhere along the way, I’ve gotten caught back up in the world, and what I’m supposed to be according to those standards. I don’t want to be that anymore, I don’t want to judge myself by the world’s standards. I need to remember that I am, “Fearfully & Wonderfully Made” (Psalm 139:14).

This is where YOU come in. I need prayer. I’m setting out on a journey that is hard for me, I’m going somewhere that I have never been, and I can only get there with God. I need for you my friend, to pray for me. It’s so hard to ask for people to help you, and to ask for prayer should be easy, but it’s not. As a human, I want people to like me, to see me as strong and capable. But I’m not. I am not strong, nor am I capable, except through the strength of Christ, my Savior. I ask you to please pray for me, that I will stay in the Word, that I will rely fully on my Lord to pull me out of this darkness I feel myself sinking into. I ask that you please pray that God will help me to eat only when I am hungry, not when I am sad or upset. That I will use food as fuel and nourishment for my body, not as a false god to hold me up when I am down.

This is probably the hardest thing I have ever said to anyone, and I feel somehow like I’m taking the easy out by posting this here instead of calling all my friends and speaking to them in person. Baby steps though, right? Love you all…