Whirlwinds come flying into our lives sometimes don’t they? Just out of the blue, or maybe not so out of the blue, but for the most part unexpected. One minute you think you know what is going on, and then the phone rings. My phone rang last Thursday…
My sister called last Thursday, it was around 11:30 am. I don’t know the exact time, but I know it was around then because we were on the way to pick up A from school for a therapist appointment. Anyway, Wednesday night she called 911 and my mom went to the hospital. She couldn’t breathe. If you don’t know, my mom has emphysema. She was in CCU until Friday when she went to a regular room. She is not doing better. She will not get better. Two years ago she was in the hospital and her chest x-ray showed a spot on her lungs. That was how they referred to it two years ago, a spot. Well, my mom has not had insurance up until this month, when she turned 65 and started to qualify for medicare. So, 2 years ago she opted not to have the spot looked at. They were unable to do any treatment or biopsy it in the hospital at that time because her condition wasn’t stable enough. Fast forward back to last week, the emphysema is much worse, her condition is less stable, and the spot is now being called a mass. There is nothing they can do at this point. They cannot even officially diagnose the mass as cancer because they do not believe her body could handle the biopsy. The doctors said that if she is intubated (put on a breathing tube) she most likely would not come off it. So, they called in hospice care for her on Saturday, and brought her home in an ambulance. Hospice will help her to be comfortable and help us to know how best to care for her. They have been wonderful so far! What a wonderful ministry!
Them being wonderful doesn’t change the fact that my mother is dying. I don’t want her to hurt and suffer anymore, but it hurts to know that my children aren’t going to know her like my nephew knows her. There are so many wonderful memories I have of her. I hope and pray that I can preserve them so that my children can know her and remember her.
If you have a minute, say a prayer for my mom, that perhaps, she won’t hurt so bad, that we will be ok and that we can accept God’s will for her. That she knows God’s love for her and will be with Him on streets of gold, dancing for joy!